My Favorite Games: 2023

Oh boy, 2023. This year was an exceptional year for all kinds of media and absolutely abysmal year for me personally. I have to constantly remind myself not to be a Debbie Downer here because we must focus on the positive! I haven't been able to get to every game I wanted to nor every game I think most would expect from a list like this. I never got to explore the darkness of Alan Wake II. I never got to burn in the Armored Core VI: Fires of Rubicon. I never even got to cry in The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. Some indie darlings like Pizza Tower and Slay the Princess also had to fall to the way side. This just shows how damn good of a year it's been. Even missing out on all mentioned I've made a ten list of my favorite games and it's a shame I had to keep some off. So without further ado: My favorite games of 2023.

Lies of P

"People Have No Idea So Many Secrets Are Buried in Krat..."

Me liking Lies of P is something I never thought I'd do even just... 2 years ago. The Souls-like genre of game was just something that I didn't understand. I had owned quite a few over the course of my life and always quit them out of frustration. After all, games should be fun and what about the constant beat downs is fun? In a strange twist of fate my journey would be jumpstarted by another franchise: Metroid. I played Metroid: Dread during the holidays the year it came out. It was one of the most difficult game experiences of my life, but by simple virtue of "I like Metroid" I pushed through. I recall the constant failures of the final boss. Upon reflection it confounds me how I just didn't give up. Eventually I would push through, perfectly memorizing the patterns and being rewarded not just with the satisfaction of beating the game, but the feeling of overcoming a true challenge. The ability to adapt and overcome was on full display and I finally understood. I would eventually start streaming Dark Souls III and find the same joy with this new mind set. Lies of P is merely another stop on the Souls-like journey but it's amazing that another studio put out this kind of game with on par quality. The puppet string mechanic is fantastic, allowing you to choose many different armaments' to fit the playstyle of your choice. The slow unraveling of the story took me to some really neat places! In the spirit of Bloodborne it chronicles the downfall of a once thriving society. Most of all, in Souls-like tradition, it has some of my favorite boss fights of the year, specifically the Puppet King. As of writing this, Lies of P is on Xbox game pass so if Souls games are your steez this is a more than worthy stop on that journey.

Against the Storm

Brace Yourselves!

If y'all have read my past couple entries for favorite games year to year you'd know that I absolutely LOVE roguelikes. This game is a strange one to place because it had been in early access for a number of years and I had been playing it in that time. Since it's release into the early access sphere the game had already been talked about as a big game with a lot going on. It's foundation was already rock solid, so how does it improve over time? Following it through it's early access was an absolute treat. The delicate balancing, inclusion of new races, and expanded goals make this a city builder that just had me coming back again and again. It kept me on my toes constantly and I just couldn't get enough. If you want a lot of heft in your game and a nice steady progression as a city builder look no further.

Granblue Fantasy Versus: Rising

Deathbound Love

Granblue Fantasy Versus was my favorite fighting game to play. So much so it even had a little slot when I did a 24 hour stream. Seeing Granblue Fantasy Versus: Rising take flight after the unfortunate timing of it's predecessor is a sight to behold. Certainly some still have gripes with it (the hot topics are 66L and "neutral skip" *barf*) but it's hard to deny what they've done since the original and how they handled the betas leading up to this game. At the end of the day, as far as fighting games are concerned, people should play what they like. I love this game, it's training mode is fantastic. It has really neat beginner guides. It's has GRAN BRUISE. You can try it out for free if you're unsure. I can random every match and find fun in this game. Above all, I'd say I enjoy seeing the progress I make as a fighting game player over time. Nier needs buffs.

Venba

"I thought moving here would be a chance to start over."

Oof, what a feeling this game evokes. Everyone who is a first generation immigrant in America is likely to experience something like this and it's amazing how it puts you in the shoes of the tale it has to tell here. The game acts as a well-constructed snapshot of frustration and desperation when it comes to clinging to who you are. The moments found in this game are a vivid reflection of similar things I've experienced in my life. Just this past weekend as of this write up I've taken the time to learn a little about making sio pao. Shortly after this game's completion I called my mother and we bonded over a life that we're simply trying to do our best to handle.

Octopath Traveler II

"If you're going to pray... Pray for the ones fighting for their lives,
 not those already in the dirt."

This is a simple one. The game is just better than the first one, in every way. The first game was already pretty good. I wouldn't call it great, but it was well worth it's time. This game though, this is great. Day and night mechanics, better stories, more interesting characters, fine-tuned combat, ship sailing, everything here is just taken up a notch. Also, while I didn't start with her, the game has Ochette, and that alone warrants a play through in and of itself.

Dredge

"I am as human as you are."

If there's one thing I love it's a good mystery. Not necessarily a full on mystery story like Agatha Christie or something (although I do love those), but rather just... something to keep me going via the emotion of anticipation and uncertainty. Dredge does this on top of being a game not quite like anything I've played before. It's a fishing/salvaging simulation yet you're constantly faced with what can only be described as creeping otherworldly horror. What is happening? Why are some of the fish rotting? Why are the denizens of the nearby fishing town behaving this way? What am I doing here? The mysteries are pieced at a steady pace and evokes a classic at sea tragedy. I cannot recommend a game more for the fan of looming terror.

Dave the Diver

The gaming world is vast as the ocean.

Very seldom is the sentence "It tries so many things" used in a positive way. Allow me to introduce you to the miracle concoction that is Dave the Diver. It somehow manages to be a diving sim, farming sim, restaurant sim, card collecting sim, and adventure game with a flair for ancient Atlantean history. Somehow the game manages to have it's cake an eat it too by making each slice just the delectable necessities. Sure, it's not a full blow sim in any category, yet it manages to capture just enough to make it all worthwhile and fun. Combine that with arguably the most lovable cast in all of games this year and you have a truly wholesome and fun adventure that anyone can enjoy. Oh, also, they're doing a collaboration with the previously mentioned Dredge. Just a little cosmic horror seasoning for something already special.

Hi-Fi Rush

Hope no one noticed.

The cues taken from other games are so clean in Hi-Fi Rush that it's astonishing how much it lies in the shadow of it's own originality. This out-of-left field game and the absolute best game Bethesda put out this year (hehe) felt like the king of shadow drops. It's rhythm mechanics feel so natural in the midst of the bombastic combat. It's fascinating that a classic MP3 player is what ends up becoming the heart of our main character: Chai, because just as it beats within him this game beat with the heart of a lovely coming of age tale. Intimate reconciliations, newly developed and already established feelings, all of it is displayed among some of the characters I've come to care about the most this year and the music, oh the music! The hits just kept coming with this one! In order for a game like this to really come together the music needed to be as peak as it could be; a shot taken piercing the absolute bullseye.

Baldur's Gate 3

"Not what will happen - what will you do.
Your past is not yet lost.
Your future is not yet fixed."

This was probably obviously inevitable if you read this far along. I mean, it's Baldur's Gate 3. I admit, I struggle with what to write here only because it already feels like everything that can be said about Baldur's Gate 3 has been said. That being said, not enough credit is given to how deftly handled the legacy characters are in this game. For fans of older entries of Baldur's Gate there's some fine emotional ties. Of course, everything else is great in this game for the new generation. The best voice acted cast of characters this year along with a battle system that's time tested (I mean, it's DnD). It's also a shining example of how to do a game early access right. It's up there with Hades as the best early access games of all time.

Cocoon

It's not an end, but rather a beginning.

I was wondering if I would ride the Baldur's Gate wave all the way to the finish line as my favorite game of the year. The studio behind some of my favorite games (Limbo, Inside) had something to say about that. Cocoon a short game, I finished it in 5 hours, but it's amazing how this game made me feel over the course of such a small amount of time. Using a minimalist approach the game creates the kind of "aha!" moments that will stay with me for quite awile. Simple concepts and mechanics are pushed to the absolute limit as you peel back the veneer of this universe. I'm sure Youtube essayists will have a field day with this one.

Another year in the books. It has definitely been one of the best years in gaming. While I'm upset that I wasn't able to get to everything this year had to offer, the games I did play absolutely pushed the boundary that I love to expect year after year. Thank you for reading and Happy New Year!

My Favorite Games: 2022

 Another year, another list. When we reached the tail-end I was weirdly starting to feel as if this year was a little top heavy. As I made my final push I came to realize I was wrong. Turns out there was a ton of good games and I had incredible difficulty deciding this top ten. This year had everything, from triple-A games that absolutely exceeded expectations to indie darlings that came out of nowhere. Here's my top 10 favorite games of 2022.

Pokemon S/V

"She was busy with work.
Hardly ever came home."

This game is so damn close to being so much higher on my list. I absolutely love what they've done narratively here. It's not like it's some kind of mind-blowing feat of literature but there's an emotional depth there while still reminding me that this is for kids. It's definitely the type of story that if I did play it as a kid I would remember it into adulthood and refer to it fondly as it would have contained some of the more emotionally engaging moments of media in my youth a la Lion King or Prince of Egypt. It's absolutely unforgivable that a triple-A game like this released in the state that it was in, but dammit the stuff they did narratively and the concepts they had gameplay-wise I was so into. I don't think I've completed a Pokémon game or Pokédex faster. Hopefully this is a stepping stone to more quality stories as well as improvements in optimization.

Metal: Hellsinger

Rock On

It's the way that I started listening to The Agonist after this game. I don't listen to the genre of metal so much anymore these days, but occasionally I do get into the mood. This game immediately slung me into it. I know I'm a rogue-like whore, but BPM just didn't do it for me. Metal: Hellsinger actually works as a streamlined narrative as opposed the vagueness of a game in the rogue-like genre. Taking it's concept in a more rhythm game scoreboard direction allows for a cohesive narrative to be present. The gameplay feels very smooth and the songs rip. While the bosses all look the same, their gameplay mechanics do differ. Oh, and that final boss, what a fun time! The game is short and the ending implies there might not be more and I hope that's the case. I do so badly want more of the Hellsinger.

Grounded

"It's no Lemon Crime."

Honestly, wasn't quite sure what to expect from Grounded. I was like, ok, an excuse to be all small and build stuff, cool. This will scratch a new Raft/Minecraft type itch I have. What I didn't know was I was in for a neat narrative and a landmark-focused world a la Fallout. This makes sense, the Obsidian Fallout games were my personal favorites and it's neat to see the studio add this to their wheelhouse. Not only does the game have all the stuff to do in a building simulation game it has a fascinating B-movie story to boot with heart at the center of it's lore. The enemy variety is great and the creative approach to backyard biomes had me enjoying this so much more than I thought I would.

Neon White

I can't believe God Himself decided
to bless me with the thing I love most:
a completely clueless boy.

What a rad game and what a passionate community. This was one of my favorite games to stream because the community who's into it are very active. They didn't necessarily back seat game or anything like that, but rather they were very into viewing my journey. For those who don't know, Neon White is meant to be speed ran. There's so many ways to go about a level that can just cut your time progressively. The creativity in the movement of it all made it such a blast to embrace. The characters are very colorful and silly. They carry the story very hard along with that need to find the next speed running puzzle. In a weird way it's also a resource manager, with you managing the cards per stage. While I can't see myself becoming a true speedrunner of the game I will continue to appreciate it from afar.

Powerwash Simulator

*Powerwashing sounds*

I originally did not have Powerwash Simulator on my must play list. Honestly, I never know what to expect with any of the Simulator branded games. BBQ Simulator is straight unhinged, same with Goat Simulator. Firefighting Simulator is rip-roaring multiplayer fun. They all lean into the goofiness often is how I feel. I was pleasantly surprised to be pitched Powerwash Simulator which isn't nearly as absurd as the other Simulator games. By comparison it's actually pretty grounded. It was the perfect chill and vibe game. I was also told there is a story and as I played it I was delighted to see what kind of story that was. Even now, sometimes to wind down before bed I'll pop on Powerwash Simulator, and think to myself "What a lovely time."

Digimon Survive

"See you when I get back!"

I have a fond place in my heart for Digimon, but within my circle of friends it didn't feel as prominent. I hadn't really consumed much content outside of it's third iteration and I never played any of the games really. My friends Zen and Soft&Wet PROMISED me that this one was special. Soft&Wet even went as far as to buy me a copy. I owed it to him to play this game. What I wasn't expecting was to be so shaken up. This isn't what I remember of Digimon. They took my own childhood perception of it and threw it at a concrete wall. What splattered is a genuine piece of art that explored the consequences of such creatures existing. It delves deep into childhood traumas and concepts that many children deal with. A fascinating look at growing up and faults in communication/understanding. I cannot recommend this game more to anyone who craves both nostalgia and something new. Hell, even anyone who is looking to have their childhood concepts challenged, this game deserves to be played.

AI: The Somnium Files - NirvanA Initiative

We live in a simulation.

The sequel to one of my favorite games to stream steps it up. It provided everything and then some from the original. It has dance numbers, ridiculous characters, and sci-fi noir vibes. For those who don't know, film noir is one of my absolute favorite genres and I studied quite a lot of it at university. Once again here we find ourselves with unreliable narrators, but it does so in quite a different way. The occurances of the crimes involved in this game happen 6 years apart and the lines in between are blurry. It all accumulates to possibly my favorite somnium of both games. Unlike the bombastic final somnium of it's predecessor we find ourselves in the midst of something truly intimate and tragic. I genuinely hope this series gets one more go. I'd like to stop by for one more dance party with these characters, if only to continue sharing this streaming experience with some of my favorite friends in Pxlhearts.

Signalis

Remember your promise

Haunting. Truly, truly haunting. Somehow, someway, this beautiful treasure of an indie game managed to capture the essence of classics such as Resident Evil and Silent Hill. Not only that, the actual mechanics of the gameplay have a hand at the game's themes and concepts. This is the kind of nostalgia I can stand by. Rather than just rehashing something we've seen before the game knows what makes those games great and revolutionizes them for the modern audience. The story continues to stick with me heading into the new year and I cannot wait to see what else this studio does. If anyone longs for the classic puzzle-solving horror survival of yore, look no further. You'll find something truly extraordinary.

Elden Ring

No maidens. Touch grass.

If a number of games are but a faint echo of Breath of the Wild then Elden Ring is what happens when you take that echo and push it through a megaphone. It is a natural evolution of the genre and in many ways surpasses it. There's a reason it's the most accessible of the souls games and why tons more people have played it. The game has managed to somehow be as easy or as difficult as you want it to be. It might take a little time in order to make the game as easy as you want it to, but all the tools are there. It is on the agency of the player to obtain it. This, along with my favorite game of the year, have managed to live up to the astronomical hype that has been placed before them. Too often we see the failures (ahem, cyberpunk) but we truly are blessed here, in the the year of our lordt 2022, to have both Elden Ring and this next game that have shattered all expectation.

God of War: Ragnarok

"For the sake of our children,
we must be better."

To choose between this game and Elden Ring seems truly unfair. Both games are so vastly different and have so much so lived up to the hype bestowed upon them. As a book end finale the story is truly complete and thrashed me with such emotional heft I could not help but really embrace the character Kratos has become after all these years. I was never the biggest God of War fan, but this revisit to the character and the way they've molded him into a father who is constantly learning... I'll be thinking about it for a long time. This is also another one of those cases where nostalgia has a faint hand, but what truly shines here is how much is learned and how much a character has grown. We've peeled back the layers on Kratos and what's left here is one of the most memorable gaming experiences of the past couple of years.

I'm glad I can compile this list. It was a busy year for me video game wise. Hopefully more on next year's list will be played on stream! I also have a couple of games I've yet to visit for this list that unfortunately had to be put on the backburner due to time. These include Horizon Forbidden West,  The Quarry, Xenoblade Chronicles 3, Bayonetta 3, and Stray. Here's to another year of great games!

Film and 2022

 I find myself in a very strange place in regards to film in this year of our lordt, 2022. I used to frequent the cinema, constantly keeping up to date with next big thing or little gems here or there. That just isn't the case anymore. I love film and I'm lucky to find myself in a place where it's a hobby, but I suppose that strict discipline no longer pushes me to be absorbed in the next piece of some cinema big shot's latest opus. Regardless, someone encouraged me to also do a write up of film, not just video games, asking why I didn't. Honestly, in last couple of years with film my relationship has felt sordid. I often wasn't invited amongst the crowd of consistent filmies nor did I feel as if I could invite my less involved friends to that of the more obscure. It's not that I had to watch films with people but truly, I'm in a point of my life where I just want to. I enjoy seeing their smile, picking at their thoughts after. I think my fondest memories of the cinema this year have been shared! So maybe there will be a theme with this small list. I only want to touch on five. They are five films amongst the very small amount of films I've seen this year that struck a chord with me. There's plenty more that I wanted to watch but that kind of gluttonous viewing experience just isn't in my cards anymore. Maybe one day I'll got back to the buffet table, but for now I'll take the time to appreciate this finer, more intimate meal.

Barbarian - Zach Cregger

Barbarian was one of the last of a series of horror films I watched in October due to it being the Halloween season and all that. It was a fun series of viewings because my friend Zen was looking to expand his filmic side. My sister, Dori, was also looking to just watch horror films in general. It was a strong list that included the likes of Alien, Aliens, Halloween, Cabin in the Woods, The Thing, all V/H/S films, amongst others. It was fun in hindsight to view all those because it kind of led up to this point. This was a newer horror film and what could it deliver I had wondered? I started hearing whispers on social media as well as reviews coming in citing it as one of the most fun and scary films of the year. The trailer did an incredible job hiding everything. I absolutely needed to see this.

What begins as an AirBnB mix up slowly turns feral, taking turns that I wasn't expecting. It makes use of the allure presented to us by the names used in this picture (Bill Skarsgard, post IT, carrying a sort of weirdness about him; Justin Long, placed with a pure wacky energy). I loved this film as a capper for the month of October because everyone who was attending filmic viewings at my house hadn't really seen it (Minus Max). The majority of us were just strapped in for a ride and when the revelation hit halfway through we were all glued to the screen. Just an absolute blast of a horror film.

RRR - S.S. Rajamouli

I had no idea what to expect heading into RRR. I just knew that it was apparently nutso and that it was one of the best films of the year according to a lot people. To me, if I had to pick a pinnacle of a screening that was representative of the friendship I developed watching films in the past year it would be the screening of RRR. Much like the protagonists of this Malywood picture I felt as if I had found kindred spirits; brothers in arms that look out for each other during times of strife (or strive hehe). Genuinely, Jacksonville Savage Base has been kind to me and this film, as a representation of me doing screenings again, will stand tall in the history of landmarks found in what I hope to be a lasting friendship with these guys. Indian cinema stays winning. The most fun viewing of the year.

Decision to Leave - Park Chan-wook

The most romantic film of the year also contains the most memorable ending of all the films I've seen this year. It's also romantic in the strangest way as it is a  police procedural with a lot of it being in the head of our detective, Hae-Joon. The feelings in this crime thriller are evocative of In the Mood for Love which recently was ranked the highest amongst Wong Kar-Wai's oeuvre in the 2022 Sight & Sound poll among directors. That's not surprising. This is also Park Chan-wook's best film since Oldboy. The twists and turns in it's narrative are so unreasonable yet so coated in the patina of love that you can't help but feel this is just how deep our protags are in. 

This is also already a really strong year of acting performances so it's crazy to think that Tang Wei's performance as Seo-rae stands out. The last lines of the film have stuck with me since the moment I watched those credits roll and it owes a lot to her gripping control of my emotions. Is it a date movie? I'm not sure about that, but it's a testament to love.

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery - Rian Johnson

I could say the same thing about the ending to Glass Onion as I did with Decision to Leave. The final shot of Glass Onion is easily the best among all films I've seen this year. Rian Johnson stays winning again with his deft ability to reframe a character that we've come to know at the start of the film to something completely different in the end. So many little things make this film such a blast to watch. I'm sad I couldn't drag more people to the theater to catch this on the big screen but it's limited run was how the cookie crumbled. With this film I'm reminded of a great line in Roger Ebert's The Great Movies book and that's (I'm paraphrasing here) "Great films will ask you a question the first time you watch it then answer it the second time." It's easily the film that will provoke it's viewer to go in for an immediate second viewing. The sheer tragedy of catching it late on the last night only to wait until the Netflix release a couple of weeks later is a true crime. It is forgiven though, because the movie is just too damn good.

Also, I don't know how the nominations will shape up come awards season but, like Tang Wei, Janelle Monae absolutely devours any scene she's in. An incredible performance.

Everything Everywhere All at Once - Daniel Scheinert and Daniel Kwan

It's weird to me that this feels like an out-of-left-field masterpiece. After all the Daniels have created some really memorable pieces of media the past couple of years. I suppose that comes with the territory of a film that actually lives up to the title. Somehow, someway this film is the embodiment of the overwhelming burden of everyday life. It perfectly captures the assault of feeling as if you must be doing everything everywhere all at once. The performances here are so intimate in capturing a true immigrant tale as well as a portrayal of queer grief. My poor sister, I could tell she felt moments of this film within every fiber of her body. From top to bottom the decisions here are impeccable and it left me with a film that I found to be the best of the year and it's not even close. All the actors and people behind the camera deserve every bit of praise that has come and is coming their way. One of the best films of the past decade and a film I can only describe as almost perfect.

Conclusion

I'm lucky to be here. I'm lucky to be at this very moment, at this very point in time. To the friends that have invigorated my love of films thank you so much. I hope you feel what I feel and if not to that level I hope it's at least enjoyable. I cannot wait to share more new experiences with you, both in terms of introducing you to what I love as well as new films along the way. Genuinely you've revived something in me I long thought dead. Thank you.

You can find more film content on Letterboxd, Twitter, and Instagram.

Clash of Kings, Queens, and Everything-In-Betweens

 I feel as if it's been a hectic year for most. I also feel every year is hectic for most. However, in the midst of all the hullabaloo and nonsense too I can say for the first time in a long time I feel as if I've been a part of something that I can look back at that was creative, fulfilling, and bright. The Charity Clash was something I threw out as a kind of ha-ha to a couple of friends that some part of me fully expected to get shot down. I know, I know, woe is me, but it's such a distinct place for me to be in that shows a genuine image of a me at the beginning of the year to the person I am at the end. I wanted to take the time to acknowledge a couple of goons who have been a part of all this in some shape or form because I find it important to let them and other people know how this seemingly little thing feels so big to me.

The First Time Our Swords Touched Tips

The first game we played was decided on was a random spin of the wheel. The wheel of fate happened to land on a little multiplayer platform builder called Ultimate  Chicken Horse. This was exciting for me because 1. I love Ultimate Chicken Horse, and 2. I get to share to other goons the joy that is Ultimate Chicken Horse. As it neared I realized something that this event would ultimately (haha) become for me: a way to showcase my amazing friends. This was especially important to me because I ended up inviting someone who made a lasting impact on me in the tail end of last year. That's Travis or Shrimpy Nobashi. I still constantly tell the story of how I remember we met. It brought to me this unbridled joy that showed how, some way, and in an immediate fashion I was wholly accepted. In fact, a lot of my year has been defined by actually finding a group of friends that embrace a lot of the quirks and loves I have while also sharing what they've taken to. I feel bad that we live kinda far away in what feels like the biggest city in the world because I want to hang out with you more. You made the first Charity Clash so exciting and thrilling while somehow having this cool demeanor about it. The match was so close and thrilling! I really hope you enjoyed it and I think most of all I want to play a board game with you soon. I cannot understate how your welcoming energy made me feel as I tried to get involved with the FGC.

Oh, this was also, for me, the event that raised the most money. I remember crying after it was done thinking wow... I feel validated... in a decade of creative beatdowns and no-gos that shred of hope within me stood up. It was an absolute flood of emotion. I feel as if I owe so much this year to this moment and to everyone who did donate thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Team: Shrimpy Nobashi, Praujekt

Boomer Bingo

The next game played would be the first of the chosen games and pxlhearts chose one of their classics: 7 Days to Die. Now we were in the throes of it. How would our follow up fare? Thank goodness that creative Asher was now awake and wanted to make sure this was a great follow up to an already great first outing. I shelled out for a shiny jpeg made by snkagawa and started to recruit a team that I thought would bring the ha-has. This was also rad in the sense that it would be the first time Stef, Jess, and I talked about playing a game creatively. There wasn't a true competitive mode in 7 Days to Die so how would we go about it? My long time friend in the Bot Lane Kvjams suggested to me that we take a competitive Minecraft approach and play 7 Days to Die Bingo. I brought it to the table and we immediately got to coming up with goals which was one of the funnest parts to be honest.

To Mark: I need you to know that you introducing me to Vtubers and actively engaging in the here or there of anime makes my day every time. During this clash I figured I'd bring you on as a cooler methodical head and you didn't disappoint. Your team kill during this stream might be the hypest moment of all the clashes and I look back on that highlight periodically.

To Phil: My roommate of 4 years. My friend for over a decade. I'm glad that we've been friends for this long. You never cease to make me laugh. How you come up with this many jokes is so unhinged. I'm glad we can still talk cooking, romance anime, and video games even if we're not living together anymore.

I tasted defeat this event but the next would take this clash to a whole new place.

Team: Tinfoil, Hentaiface, Praujekt

Kings, Queens, and Everything-In-Betweens Gambit

This is the game where I would say we started to test each other's boundaries. I brought Chess to the table. The main reason I wanted Chess was to challenge them in a game that would test both our abilities to learn. I'm cringe and enjoy learning things. The unfortunate truth is the nature of our careers and how it's impossible to provide even a little in terms of time for that. I still feel a certain anxiety hoping they had fun regardless. I enjoyed so much of how much I learned! Jmayday was such an excellent teacher. You really opened my eyes to what Chess could be. Also, shoutouts to some of my homies who taught me Chess in the North Carolina mountains during a bachelor party. It really was a full blown anime arc.

Even though he couldn't be there the entire time I'm so glad that BigNonsense was enthused enough to participate in this event. You're truly one of my best friends and I'm so glad to have you in my life. You've acted as an encouraging soundboard throughout all of charity clash and I really hope I can have you in more going down the line. You cannot comprehend how I feel to have your support.

I also look back fondly at this event because it would be the first of these Clashes that I would do with my sister, I know she's heard this probably a trillion times but you've been my longest tenured friend and I'm glad we make people jealous with how close we are as siblings. This was huge for me because you also got to partake in helped local children's hospitals to which you were the primary reason I did those charities. I really couldn't ask for a better sister nor could I fathom having any other. I'm glad you wanted to partake in this one.

Finally Zen. There's so much I wanna say about you but that could occupy a whole entire other blog post. Only within the context of this Charity Clash I can say I was insanely hyped that you were interested in being a part of my Chess squad. Your fighting game knowledge still pushes me and excites me on a day to day basis, which makes it an exciting fit for Chess. I still get hyped thinking about that stand off you had with Jess which was the longest game without a piece taken. You've been a truly amazing friend this year and I'm so glad you're also a part of Charity Clash lore now.

Team: Zenosuke, BigNonsense, Doriosaur

Halo Halo

Oof, in many ways Halo was rocky to say the least from the start. Originally intended to be Halo: Infinite, we found the game so poorly optimized that it was impossible for my wimpy computer to play it on stream. Instead we opted into playing Halo:Reach. The intent here was that I wanted a First Person Shooter and, similar to Chess, I wanted to learn the ins and outs. As we neared the date neither team really had time to practice. I remember only having one day. While my intent was there I think I could have approached prep and consideration better for this one. Regardless it was very successful charity wise, still fun, and I think tested my friendship with pxlhearts more that ultimately resulted in a healthy step forward even if it didn't seem like it at the time.

My team for this event was assembled with some of my favorite local goons. I brought on not only Phil again, but his brother Paul. Paul is one of the kindest souls I know and I'm glad both he and Jenni continue to invite me to things. I really look forward to what y'all do content wise going forward since the Food challenge is something I look forward to every year now. Of course there's KvJams, this time not only providing advice but actually playing. We've played so many games for so long. We're also just family and I'm so glad to have you as a brother.

Team: Hentaiface, Slam, KvJams

Improv Magic

In hindsight Witch It! was wild. For a time it seemed like we were going to have like 16 people playing it. Leading up to the event the number of people fluctuated and I was genuinely unsure how many people were going to be involved for both teams. In the end it still ended up being our game with the most participants and there were so many highlights from each member. What was fun for me was I had originally intended to keep the hunter roles locked. I realized this was a mistake and on stream changed the mindset for the better which provided wild results.

A big highlight was Toophunkey who surprised me with how good he was at hunting. I started putting him in more and he wowed me. He found some people in an insane fashion, it genuinely looked like he was cheating. Double-whammy with this pick, he's also one of the funniest goons I know. To this day he still is the purveyor of my most viewed clip on Twitch.

Of course we can't forget stackofbears, the speed run king. You make humor seem so... seamless. I'm always glad when we hang out because I can fully expect a good laugh. I'm very glad that we've done so much more streaming this past year. You had some wacky hiding spots in this clash and provided great sound bits during commentary.

We had a run back with sister unit, Phil, and Zachy poo. Specific shout out to my sister unit who showed up after a dental appointment talking with a lisp.

Team: Toophunkey, Stackofbears, Hentaiface, Praujekt, Doriosaur

Dessert

The last game of the year was Overcooked 2 and like a food critic I found myself reflecting on what we have done.

I have to reiterate this. pxlhearts effectively made my year infinitely better. I feel as if in many ways we grew as friends and creators. You both wow me every day and I'm so lucky to include y'all in my cadre of daily constituents. I hope we can keep this going as long as we can and here's to it continuing to change us for the better.

And, of course, Praujekt, Zachy poo. An absolute king. You're one of the goons who made me fascinated with learning games. Starting with DBD and continuing to have patience with various things, which is funny thinking of you. I have so many clips that I can look back on of our streams together and it's amazing what all of this has turned into. Thank you and here's to a constant parade of incredible jokes and content.

Team: Praujekt

Thank you to my friends who have tuned in to the magic that is the Charity Clash. Shout outs to my Discord homies. I cannot wait to see what the future has in store.

2021: My Favorite Games

#10: Tales of Arise

Boy, I Sure Wish These Bosses Weren't Ass

  Damn, Tales of Arise... While I had Tales of Berseria in my Top 10 of 2017, I will admit it was more of a cling to nostalgia. Tales of Arise would have my favorite characters since Vesperia and it would no longer feel as if all we were doing was traveling from set piece to set piece. It would also have characters that I would say, more so than ever before, felt completely different from one another in terms of play style and that there wasn't a single character I wouldn't use in any given moment depending on the circumstances. What prevents it from actually being the highest rated jrpg on my list (there are 2 of them) are the grievances I have with the boss battles. They're often too hard for no reason at specifically the tail end of the fights which have already been a slog up to that point due to the ridiculous life pools. This often drains the really great moments of any emotional resonance. The story is overall fantastic though and I hope that the good here can carry some momentum for the next Tales game.

#9: Resident Evil Village

I Actually Wanted to Throw Up, It Was So Scary

This game has some stunning highs. Everyone always talks about the House Beneviento moment and with good reason. It was an iconic showing of a return to form; a master class of building terror that stuck with you well after it's moments were history. Just as good is the fact that this is a book end for the complete tale of Ethan Winters. Thematically this game and Resident Evil 7 click. What initially ropes you in with a promise to return to it's horror survival roots becomes a careful and tragic tale of what it means to have a family. Everyone's definition of family is different and so many characters showcase the many different facets of being a part of one. Really what holds it back is that some of the segments are rather meh towards the tail end. Capcom hit their rhythm with this one though and I can't wait to get my scare pajamas on for the next one.

#8: Deathloop

You Just Missed Outer Wilds

Deathloop was SO FUN in the beginning. There was a unique sense of intrigue and the chemistry between the major voice actors was just a blast to  experience. On top of that the back stories of a number of the primary antagonists actually made me feel bad for them. The discovery of why anyone would want to continue the same day over and over again due to a particular kind of trauma they would never want to recreate in the real world had big mood energy. The way it tells this there-and-back again story would've have also had more impact if it weren't for two things: The method and overall story of Outer Wilds was just better and it came out a year ago. They are different games from a gameplay stand point so that's something to be had, but it's those small things that can keep a game from true greatness especially since I've already tasted it.

#7: Guilty Gear Strive

A Smelly Game

The promise of roll back netcode laid pungent in the air. How good could it REALLY be? How much of a difference could it REALLY have? The answer was a lot. Guilty Gear Strive would be the anchor that weighed the FGC with a new precedent. Roll back is a necessity. Tragically this standard was further bolstered with the pandemic fully ablaze. It felt like the only way to play fighting games with other people was to play online. Combine that with a new take on the Guilty Gear formula and the creative expression of the new Roman cancel, you've got yourself a fighting game. To be honest this game means a lot more to me due to the fact that it is the game that got me involved with the local FGC. Also my frustrations with the system have actually allowed me to grow as a learning individual which helps with all of the games I play going forward.

#6: Metroid Dread

I've Died at This Boss 50 Times, Yet I Persist

It's been a bajillion years since I played a sidescrolling Metroid game and to me it is still my preferred and best way to experience a Metroid game. I was curious about the title. The game that created the most fear within me from the Metroid series was Metroid Fusion and I was pleasantly surprised to find out the ties this game has with it. The game is just long enough, with me beating it over a weekend. The mystery is fun, the puzzles are challenging, and the bosses are distinct and brutal. This game would actually prompt me to begin my run at beating a Souls game, something I honestly didn't think I'd ever do. There's one nitpicky control set up that agitated me during some boss fights, but it was a little thing that I eventually got over. It didn't take away the satisfaction I got from defeating a difficult opponent. Please please make more of these. I just can't get enough.

#5: Shin Megami Tensei V

The Quintessential Attack and Dethrone God Experience

Admittedly I'm still playing through Shin Megami Tensei V, but from what I have played of it has been an absolute delight. The demon Pokémon formula still holds up and the interactions with said demons often bring a smile to my face. What I find wholly rewarding about the game is that it never feels like you can grind so much that you completely overpower the game. The game requires you to interact with it's systems. Make one mistake, get struck at weak point, you could suddenly find yourself staring at a GAME OVER screen. That might turn some people off who prefer to grind but for me it made most challenges rewarding in terms of puzzle solving. At all points of the game the story bosses are solvable depending on the demons in your compendium and the items you utilize. A truly rewarding JRPG experience that keeps me going with the mystery of it's story. As a long time fan this actually might be one of the best yet in the series.

#4: No More Heroes III

Pop Culture Deviance

After that first suplex I knew I would get it: a shot of nostalgia. Suda51 takes aim at a new realm of pop culture fandom: the superhero genre. What Suda51 does so well is make an attribute associated with popularity so... trivial. The game has "Superheroes". This isn't true at all of course and we've felt it before with the "open world" game that was No More Heroes. And while it makes the fact that it has superheroes carry no heft at all there is still substance here in the midst of all the insane style. Weirdly enough Travis Touchdown, after spending over a decade with him, has become someone that I strive to be entering my 30s. He genuinely does not care what other people think of him and his passions. Also, he's a home owner. Making moves Travis! And I'm right on that trail.

#3: Psychonauts 2

It Doesn't Have to Be Gamers =/= Mental Health

Wowzers. A game with a sequel about 10 years in the making and it hasn't missed a beat. The gameplay is crisp, the humor is rampant, the emotional undertones and overtones will stick with you for the rest of the month! This is possibly DoubleFine's best game yet and it is the continuation of one of their most special properties. As mental health becomes more and more prevalent within the gaming community, games like Celeste and Psychonauts keep up the discussion on the warfront. There are so many occurrences in Psychonauts 2 that someone, somewhere will resonate with and whatever it is, is tackled with such verve that I can't help but smile. We must learn to love each other and love ourselves if we're to be a strong gaming community. Content like this will bolster that push and definitely has already helped me a lot heading into 2022.

#2: Inscryption

I'm Not Crying, You're Crying

Inscryption is the sad version of every card gamer's Toy Story. That's all I can really say. The game really is the benefactor of it's intriguing mystery. The game will surprise you. It will make you feel a little dread. Most of all, if you have a soft spot for card games, it will make feel something other games have difficulty encapsulating when it comes to self study of a genre. To go on talking about this game would only hurt the experience. Play this masterpiece.

#1: Loop Hero

There is An End to This Wasteland, I Promise You

I did a little bit for the JSB Gamescast regarding this game but I want to reiterate how I feel about it. I love the mixing of it's genres. I think they really experimented here with the actual concept of what a game could be. I feel that Roguelikes as a genre are really poignant right now, whether you're dealing with grief, you lost a job, or you're dealing with this pandemic. Everyone ends up in a wasteland at some point of their life. There is an end, I promise you. Loop Hero captured that feeling for me and all the pieces clicked together, top to bottom, as a work of art. For that, Loop Hero is my GOTY 2021.

Notable Games I Haven't Gotten the Chance to Play at the Time of Writing:

Solar Ash
Death's Door

Axiom Verge 2

Monster Hunter Rise

12 Minutes

Life is Strange: True Colors

Eastward

Lost Judgement

Guardians of the Galaxy

Returnal

Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart

Fighting Games: A Love Letter

It's been awhile since I've posted anything, but I suppose this is the aftermath of inspiration.

I've always just liked them, but now, weirdly, on the page turn of age 30, I want to say that I love fighting games.

Why is this a big deal to me? Well, because I've always had a certain kind of inconsistency with it. Let me explain.

Growing up I wasn't particularly hooked on the genre. When people talk fighting games and how much they play them they often talk about their "scene." Their scene shapes them. From learning the basic jab to learning 234P all the way to their long BnBs (Bread and Butters) that define them, a "scene" can have a profound influence on them. In a fighting game you develop a language all your own; a means of expression forged in the fires of your community beat downs.

I never really had that growing up. I grew up in a military family and the friends I had made on that journey weren't particularly into fighting games. That being said, I would eventually find some games that did light a fire. When I lived on a military base in Keflavík, Iceland (age 13) my local pizza joint had only one arcade cabinet. That arcade cabinet was Marvel vs. Capcom 2: New Age of Heroes. I wouldn't say I was hooked. I would say that in between pizza sessions, my first part time job, some after school, and whenever I was just in it's general vicinity without anyone around I would hop on. After all, I did love video games in general and who didn't want to play as your favorite super heroes?

A couple of times a week I would hop on, throw in a few quarters, and pick my favorite 3 characters: Blackheart, Doctor Doom, and Storm. Mind you, this was the age of dial up and I was far away from America so I wasn't particularly aware of anything like tier lists or any knowledge of the game really. I just either liked how the characters played (Blackheart) or my own personal knowledge of lore as a comic book fan (Doctor Doom and Storm). It would be a repeating cycle: I would beat the game's arcade mode, get to the top of the score standing, enjoy that satisfaction, and walk away. It was also unfortunately my ceiling and honestly, not the best mindset to get into. It could never make me understand the nuances of playing against a human player; someone who adapts on the fly, punishes me for my mistakes, pushing me in ways that would make me truly better. But hey, did it matter at 13? I had my own general problems (curse you puberty) and the satisfaction of being #1 at something for a kid with insecurities (even if it was fake because I was only really competing against the AI) was good enough.

Eventually I would buy a Nintendo Gamecube and here and there I would rent Capcom vs. SNK 2. Originally it was just to check out a new game, but once again I felt there was something there. The grooves system and the way characters played made me come back every so often. I didn't understand it, but there was something there that just FELT good. But with no one to share my newfound form of expression I would just go back to my my JRPGs, something I still enjoy and more fitting for someone who didn't need another person to play.

Luckily, in time, I did find a game that was incredibly fun to play single player. It is the masterpiece that is Soul Calibur II. That game had all the right fixin's. A crazy fun single player mode, one of the coolest exclusive characters on Gamecube (Link) and a 3rd dimension for sidestepping (a completely new concept to me having only played 2D fighters). Of course I would spam Raphael's horizontal pokes and get by because I didn't know any better, but who cares? I was having fun in a genre I had prior thought had a limit in it's enjoyment. But while my enjoyment of the game overall was infinite it did still have that skill development limit. Other friends around me would dabble in it for the opportunity to play a character as cool as Link, but there wasn't really any kind of commitment to get better or challenge each other. If there was a fighting game of choice with people my age at that time (and it would be going forward when I moved to Italy) it was definitely Super Smash Bros. Melee.

It's crazy to look back and see Melee compared to now. I do really like the game, but I'm very glad I never committed to it in a sense. I'm in awe when I watch good players play it, but in a weird way I'm glad I never got sucked into all that. It's a fun game and it's enjoyable to kick someone's ass in it, but I suppose something in me still longed to beat someone in the games that had kind of lit a fire. Did no one play MvC2? What about that game I was kind of getting into? What was it? Capcom vs. SNK 2? It wasn't something to get me down, so many games were great at the time. People played Melee, Halo, NBA Live, all that was a playground for me. It's just weird to think now, in my weird current obsession with fighting games, that I didn't have an insane fighting game phase growing up. Once again, looking back, I had no "scene."

How long would it take until I found that fuel? Who would actually push me? Who spammed jump kick low kick to let me know I was bad at fighting games? I would find that in Jacksonville, FL, during my senior year in high school (which was when I moved from Italy) and during a huge turning point for the fighting game community: Street Fighter IV.

Street Fighter IV was such a damn cool game. How did this series, etched in many gamer minds, evolve to just be... accessible and stylish? I remember one of my friends bought the game and our crew would come over just to play. I remember doing so much yelling the first day we played that I practically lost my voice. We weren't particularly good, but whenever you land those surprise hits and figured out Ultras... well, I just about lost it. It's crazy to think what fighting games would just... spring forward into my life from that point on. I would fall in love with Guilty Gear, Blazblue, and even MELTY BLOOD! The anime fighters made a lot of sense to be honest. MvC2 was pretty much an anime fighter. But Melty Blood? Really? We played it on a lap top my friend would bring to the community college campus lunch area and I would actually slowly improve. I learned concepts like canceling and aerial dashing. I would realize that moves from the older games I played were actually the catch all terms for all the fighting games that came after it: TK (Tiger Knee), DPs (Dragon Punch). It was all so crazy the vast nuances these games had that I never realized because the small ember I had burning for these games never really had any fuel to fan it outside of me just trying to keep it alive in some weird sense.

Even with that though I would in time move to Tallahassee for my stint at FSU. There was a gaming community there, but 2 things really got in the way. One, the fact that I did film school stuff (which took up a lot of damn time) and two, I'm not really outgoing. I wouldn't say I'm an introvert. I'm definitely an extrovert if you think of someone who draws energy from being around others, but I am also socially anxious. Even then I would still buy more iterations of Blazblue and MvC or new games like P4U and the like. After all, I could gain enough satisfaction in training mode or when I visited Jacksonville to play with a couple of friends there.

After awhile though, things do change. I was in Atlanta, living with 4 other people who didn't play fighting games, let alone games at all. When that venture was over I would come back to Jax and just wouldn't be as close to the people I played fighting games with prior. It was that or they moved away in pursuit of their passions. I clinged on. I found a used copy of Marvel vs. Capcom 2 for PS2. I bought an arcade stick to emulate the feeling, but I was alone again. The fire had dulled down to an ember...

Fast forward a couple of years. I'm ready to move back out of my parents house again and I needed a roommate. Luckily, once of my friends from community college who consistently kicked my ass in Street Fighter IV wanted to move out too. We found a place, moved in, and I still live with him to this day. It wasn't quite like the old days. We didn't really touch any fighting games. I much preferred my anime  fighters and even then we often got caught up in other things. I also do love other video games that took up a lot of my time (Mostly League of Legends). One day though, 3 years ago I'd say, he asked me if I wanted to watch EVO.

EVO made my jaw drop. This... this is the highest level of play for all these games I've enjoyed. I was lucky too in regards to timing, the best moments were yet to come. I got to see Tokido climb out of losers bracket and exclaim about how fighting games are so great!. I got to see the rise of Arslan Ash and in turn an entire nation: Pakistan in the Tekken scene. I got to see Leffen defeat a god in Melee. Don't even get me started on the entirety of the GO1 and SonicFox saga. There were too many to count! I wondered why a much older game like UNIST can burst onto the scene and when I saw it in pro play I became incredibly convinced. There are countless moments I missed, but looking back at it, it's absolutely better late than never. I dug into FGC history. I missed this this whole time? The fire raged on and I went and picked up a number of new games.

Fast forward to the present. We're in the midst of a global pandemic and EVO is going online this year. I've somehow convinced some friends to play the occasional fighting game online. These include DBFZ, UNIST, and Tekken. I have a couple of games in the back pocket: Them's Fightin' Herds, Skull Girls, and Soul Calibur VI. Yes, I know netcode for these games isn't particularly favorable but whatever man, I'm playing games that I LOVE...

I am ready to say it. I LOVE fighting games. They've always been there even if it started as just the occasional hook up. I've joined a couple of Facebook fighting game community groups. Now, I'm still not ready to go out and be a part of Jacksonville's very strong FGC, but it's actually not because I'm worried about social anxiety or anything that has kept me from participating before, but it's rather simply being safe in the pandemic. In the mean time I'm very cool with the training sessions and the occasional throwdown with my friends in Discord. I know when I'm ready and when this is all (hopefully) over I can go out there and surely be welcome with open arms (I have friends who competed in a number of games and they assure me I'm welcome). But in the mean time I can break out the Obsidian Qanba fightstick, throw on some LoFi, and sound the horn on Discord. Even then, training in Tekken (I just got into the series for the first time a week ago) gives me the satisfaction of improvement (Thank you everyone on Youtube who makes guides). So I'll end with this. To those of you that love fighting games I have only one thing to say:

A Challenger Approaches.

"Just one thing I want to say. Fighting games is something... so great."