Ebb and Flow

 

I find myself in very strange places mentally. I just have so much going on. I know I'm too hard on myself. It's fascinating because I just had a like... an hour long conversation about Charlie Kaufman. He was always an interesting screenwriter to me because he often is perceived as someone who projects himself upon his characters. This is, of course, both figuratively and literally. I feel so much like a Charlie Kaufman character. I finally mustered up the courage to play some league today. It was fun! But I still can't escape the brain worms. They say so much about my flaws in the game, why people wouldn't want to play with me in the bot lane. I try so much to ignore it, but it's like... some sort of identity crisis. There is a part of me that makes me feel so unbearable. I can't stand it. But then there's another side. This insane hype beast mode side that just... feels the need to pop off and hype people up constantly. It's all so very confusing. I feel like I'm in the middle of some tug o war.

Otherwise I also have anxiety about the weekend. I've had conversations with my sister that I've felt like I've had some kind of early on set dementia. I know that's not something to joke about or take lightly. I'm not. I genuinely have an anxiety that I constantly forget things or I confuse things. I originally stated that I wanted to record the podcast on Saturday. I was  then asked to double check that it was Sunday. AND I SAID YES. I SAID YES BECAUSE I THOUGHT THEY SAID SATURDAY. I felt so dumb about that. I became upset because I just want this to be consistent. I know I originally pitched it to the group that I do it with that it'd be flexible. But now, as time has passed. I want it to be consistent. I want it... to be of value. I really do, especially now that I feel like I don't have so much time in the day anymore. I don't know... I feel very lost.

Money still creates an anxiety, but that's only because I have some expenditures that I really care for for the next month. I'll be talking to a financial advisor on Monday. Hopefully that can put my mind at ease...

Otherwise it's time for bed. I hope we can podcast tomorrow as opposed to Sunday...

Why Anyone Would Jump Over Time Pieces is Beyond Me

So. Overwatch comes out soon.

I was given the very fortunate opportunity to play about...

*checks watch*

3 hours of the beta with my sister, who, by the way, was a huge fan of Team Fortress 2.

Our initial reactions have been one of immense excitement.

First off I would like to point out that I was completely sucked into it's intrigue upon watching it's first cinematic trailer. Also, let's be honest. It was actually more or less a short film. Now that's fun. As a filmmaker and critic of both the filmic and gaming spectrum I was hooked. The film wasn't quite Pixar, I knew this in my mind, but it damn sure did a great job of making it feel like Pixar.

The marketing campaign up to this point has followed suit. 2 short films have been released up to the point of this blog post: Recall and Alive. Both are great. Both are immersing me.

And that's the appeal that's really getting me excited not just to play the game of Overwatch, but also what Overwatch is as an entity. It's a game like this has no business having a true immersive universe. A game of this genre calls for good, clean fun with good replayability and updates here and there to keep the game fresh. Where the hell did this sense of story come from?

So I can see some people saying this isn't new... like... at all. It has the gameplay of Team Fortress and the short films are kind of like the ones that Valve also did.

I get that, I really do, but the fact is that plenty of people have done plenty of the same things and what ends up standing out among the sea of clones is execution.

I've felt genuine emotion as I watch Widowmaker jump off the building and aim for her mark in the short film. I shouted an oh no! as my Roadhog was gunned down during an assault mission and leapt for joy as I heard my sister's character: Mercy yell "HEROES NEVER DIE!" It was true. As soon as I heard those words my Roadhog got back up, guns ablaze.

An emotional response like that doesn't just come from intriging world building and being just a fun game. No, I'm giddy just thinking about team comps and strategies. I suppose the feeling I can compare it to was when I signed up to play League of Legends during it's year of inception. I had played games like it before (DotA) but I hadn't played an iteration like this. And I was hooked from that point on.

But this still also feels different.

Blizzard has that kind of attention to detail that makes me feel like there's so much more. I can't wait to see more short films and I can't wait for the open beta. If Blizzard keeps this up, this will truly be a hero that never dies.