Slow

 I definitely had some minor brain worms the other day. Everything was a cluttering barrage of thoughts. My mind has been all over the place when not at work or in my dreams. Speaking of dreams I had one of THOSE dreams last night. A long form dream where I fell in love. I don't really want to talk about them. I don't like them, mostly because I wake up from them, but also because of the reality that it doesn't  provide that same feeling as a real relationship. Anything I dream about is fabricated and since I've never had a a relationship I'd consider loving I know that whatever my head has cooked up is a flight of fluffed up fancy. It's all a bummer.

I also have a little bit of anxiety with the upcoming cast. Once again, not completely ideal circumstances. I used to want to have a cast that was very flexible. We can just schedule it whenever and move it depending on life events but nowadays I find myself wanting it to be consistent, especially since I want it to be consistent for the audience and I want my time to edit correctly. I don't know, it's all new thoughts.

I also have to hunker down and blaze through I, Robot. I really want that book to be a part of the conversation, at least something I bring to it. I'm also uncertain if I like Pluto. It's a slow burn and normally I'm cool with slow burns, but there's so many characters constantly being introduced I'm unsure how to feel. I'll hopefully be able to compose better thoughts on it as I finish and get my notes compiled, but maybe my friend is right. How does this separate itself from the rest of the medium?

I'm also considering playing Modern MTG. We'll see. It's not something I can just hop into. Even though I got my first paycheck I still got a friend's bachelor party this month and then his wedding next. I gotta balance my budget better. At least for sure early on. I JUST got my job after all. I can't suddenly go ham on what I used to do.

Oh, I also had an idea for a short story. I don't think I'll write it. I don't really write stories anymore. I don't really know what I want from something like that. There's certainly a part of me that longs for it, but with everything going on and how I have to balance my time is that even a voice I listen to? No. No, I don't think so. We'll see how it goes I suppose.

Balance

 I don't know when it happened, but I've noticed that certain aspects of my social life are no more. Or rather, they're not... how do I put this? I'm just confused.

They're definitely intrusive thoughts but there's also no denying that something has changed. I've went through multiple days now over a weekend where the friends I used to talk to daily and just hear their voices just... don't. I'm so used to when I'm alone in a discord they'd just... show up. I don't know what happened.

There are friends who are now I suppose moving into that slot. I adore them, but I don't like that I'm losing the others. I don't know what happened and it's driving me insane.

Also, people wonder why I don't ask people to do things often times. It becomes like... unbearable when you ask and it's always no. Eventually I just want to stop. Even this weekend I tried again, once again no. I just don't understand.

I'm lost in this delirium and somehow the ship is balanced. Certain aspects of my life are healthier than ever. I have a clean room, I take on work full force, I'm focused on my hobbies. It's just that it's now not with people I used to do it with.

Is it the acknowledgement of a slowly decaying friendship? I'm unsure. And to those that think why can't people just be distant now? I get that, but I have a... let's call a table. I want to throw all of my affection at the people who sit at this table. I don't really care for people who sit near it or are maybe sitting at the table and just not... there?

Ugh, I'm so lost right now. I just want to play Magic, I want to play games, but now I don't know what to do. It also just makes me feel like I'm a problem. Maybe I am, I've been so frustrated the past couple of months.

I have to throw all this into other things, work, the podcast, etc. Maybe it'll fix itself or maybe I have to accept some sort of breakdown.

Trial of the Dragon

 

This post was actually supposed to be done on the 22nd but I had been running around all weekend.

My title is in reference to bearded dragons. I want one pretty bad. I often find myself in a weird situation because I want a dog but my sister is allergic to them but then I want a cat and my mom is allergic to them, on top of the fact that I watch mom's dogs occasionally too so that's just a recipe for disaster.

A bearded dragon is a great middle ground for me. For awhile I wanted a chameleon but those are reptiles that don't like to get handled. It's not that beardies like to get handled but rather I think they're indifferent to it, so it can like... vibe with me.

Anyway, enough lizard talk. I'm lucky to have Cary in my corner. We quickly got the photoshops in for the tech difficulties in the podcast. We also made a thumbnail that I really like! This season of the podcast has gotten off on the right foot despite the issues.

Speaking of issues, I'll be hoping to remedy some soon. Good news! I got my first paycheck. Bad news! It's taking 50 years to clear for some reason, so I don't actually have the money. That being said I was able to make my first major purchase. I'm a big advocate that your first paycheck should be something special. in this situation I bought a Sony A7 IV. This should hopefully remedy any camera woes as well as up our quality. I unfortunately had to get a Best Buy credit card in order to do the monthly payment option, which is fine, I'll just never touch it.

The only things that really concern me these days is the block of time now. Every job I've had since the lockdown was either work from home or hybrid. Having to go to an office 5 days out of the week has really taken getting used to. Also, this is straight up a block of time I have to dedicate to it all, fully. It's strange and now I have to be picky and choosy about what I do with my remaining time, especially since I put a hard cap on going to bed at 11 at the latest. This all isn't a bad thing, it's just a lot to get used to.

Also, I've started to lose weight again. It's steady, I'm back on keto and the pace is good. It's weird, I'm fully in this zone of like... it's just good for me. I know this, but eventually, just like last time, the compliments are gonna come like... "oh, you lost weight!" or "lookin' good dude." I always feel weird about it, because I would rather be... eating anything. But as I've learned my life isn't only mine. Yeah, that's just word jumble. I don't know. I don't really like compliments about losing weight. It's a necessity, not some goal I have. I also don't care about the physical aesthetics that come with it because it doesn't change how I would want people to view me. Regardless of what people say I do not find myself attractive and no one I've ever cared to want to find me attractive has ever found me attractive. This isn't just physical, this is also personality. This is purely health and I'm content with that, which is why it's weird. Whatever.

So what do I do with my time now? Do I still play League? Do I want to play mtg? I got back into the Arena. That's been fun. I've also been making a commander deck every day. That rules. I just haven't played commander. Which I might be fine with? I'm unsure. I love the act of building decks and I love the possibility. I have often hated how most of my commander games go though, so I nowadays contend with whether or not I actually enjoy playing it. I thought about why I dislike the politicking aspect of commander, because I think I definitely come across as a person who would enjoy that. I think I don't because it doesn't have a natural component to conceal. You have to conceal yourself. What I mean, it's not normal in a game of commander to have a "spy" or "mafia" which is intrinsically sewn into the games of deceit I do enjoy. It's just... he said she said, and I hate that, because I cannot navigate that. Otherwise I've been enjoying drafting Karlov despite how slow it is and how bad I'm doing. Card games are just fun.

I'm excited for two things: Kiss Me Deadly tomorrow (my favorite noir film) and the next podcast episode. The subject is the anime Pluto, which is literally Astro Boy. Pretty wild. Anyway, alot of thoughts, just wanted to get it out on paper. I work again tomorrow and work Saturday for the Home and Patio Show. Hopefully that's fine.

My Heart is in Hearthstone

So... are you guys as excited about the Whispers of the Old Gods expansion as me?

Probably.

Regardless, I'm at the very least passionate enough to throw out some thoughts; some who-the-whatsits for our upcoming Old Overlords.

While it's true that I'm not known as an absurdly avid Hearthstone player, I have been picking it up more and more as the new set comes in and we start having a shifting meta. I used to be a truly avid Magic: the Gathering player and this new set has me intrigued with it's possibilities.

In other words, to those who do play Magic, I haven't been this intrigued in a card game since Hedron Dredge came onto the scene, which is just a flat out interesting concept for a deck.

So, what cards have captured my interest? First is Fandral Staghelm.

Hello, I'm a Big Mac Combo.

Fandral Staghelm is fun because he fulfills a common concept found in a lot of CCG: the two-for-one. Now, any Choose One card boasts the idea of a two-for-one already. What's awesome about Fandral is that it makes them better because you don't have to choose. You get to do two potentially great plays.

This was why Jund has become a common staple in Magic: the Gathering. It always followed the concept of a two-for-one. No single card had only one effect in a Jund deck and we might see something like that in Hearthstone if the selection of Choose One cards are actually strong.








Next card is Evolve.

Weenies no More

Evolve, to me, seems broken. The only argument I'd say against it is that it's random. Still, if you come up with some kind of aggro deck that can pop out a bunch of weenies quickly in the early game and you drop this?

This 1 mana card.

Boy, could they be in for a hurting.

Obviously the randomness is the downside. But we also know that the minions are being transformed into minions that cost 1 more. The potential positives just outweigh the potential negatives here.








Our third card is the Eternal Sentinel.

I hope you like losing

We can hop back into our Fandral Staghelm concept with this one. This card is a devastating 2-for-1.

First off, a 3/2 critter for 2 mana is inherently, at the very least, decent. I actually think it's GREAT, but for the sake of not getting too excited for something that hasn't seen play yet, let's just say it's decent.

That'd be the case if it were just a 3/2 for 2.

This card also unlocks your overloaded mana crystals.

Oh? The board I just wiped? Your fatty I just zapped? My golem I summoned? Let me get all that mana back for next turn please.

Oh, yeah, and my DECENT 3/2 critter as well.




And the last card I look forward to trying: C'Thun.

I'm... So... Old...

C'Thun looks fun for all the right reasons. It's a card design that is based on a character that many people are familiar with due to World of Warcraft.

And even if you never played WoW the flavor of this card has deck builders ready to make this card the late game bomb that it's destined to be.

Think about a Mage control deck that revolves around this card. There's a particular C'Thun supporter that boosts C'Thun's power by 1 every time you play a spell.

Oh, let me wipe your board then kick you later with my massive critter.

The possibilities are endless and this card reeks of potential as far as a late game bomb is concerned.





Needless to say, I'm very excited for this set. I hope to see some of y'all in the random matchups but until then stay inside. The Old Gods are comin.